


37 things pennywise does while waiting for richie and eddie to finish going at it

by leetheshark



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Crack, Drug Use, Gen, List Fic, M/M, Mentions of Violence, the reddie is in the background (literally)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-02-01 01:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21318316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leetheshark/pseuds/leetheshark
Summary: When Pennywise shows up at the Derry Inn to terrorize the adult Losers, Richie and Eddie are busy getting busy, so Pennywise politely waits for them to finish. These are the things he does in the meantime.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 32
Kudos: 266





	37 things pennywise does while waiting for richie and eddie to finish going at it

**Author's Note:**

> first of all i would like to apologize to everyone, especially my subscribers who might have been expecting something good.
> 
> this was a joint effort between me and [Jacket.](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacketarearmpants) he understandably didn't want to be a co-author so i must answer for our sins alone.

  1. Makes himself comfortable in the hotel room’s armchair, because the bed is occupied, and hopes this won’t take long.
  2. Digs around in his clown costume for a few minutes before pulling out an oversized pocket watch. In five minutes, he checks it again.
  3. Reads the newspaper, which happens to be Georgie’s unfolded paper boat from 1989.
  4. Taps Eddie on the shoulder, politely asking him to speed it along. Eddie doesn’t notice.
  5. Watches Saturday Night Live reruns.
  6. Makes balloon animals (out of balloons).
  7. Makes balloon animals (out of Richie and Eddie’s extra condoms).
  8. Judges Richie and Eddie’s technique.  
_They get a solid 8 out of 10._
  9. Does doughnuts around the room on Danny Torrance’s tricycle.
  10. Sits on the edge of the bed, playing video games on the TV. He sneers when Richie accidentally kicks him. Richie doesn’t notice.
  11. Watches Stranger Things on Netflix.
  12. Watches Richie’s comedy special.
  13. Watches the 1990 miniseries.
  14. Orders UberEats. When the delivery driver sees Richie and Eddie going at it, he winks; Pennywise just shakes his head.
  15. Uses Tinder, and swipes right on Richie.  
_Richie’s phone beeps—It’s a match!—Beep beep Richie!_
  16. Smokes a blunt and passes it around. Richie accepts. Eddie declines because of his asthma.
  17. Gets an HBO free trial with Eddie’s credit card to watch Barry.
  18. Forgets to cancel his HBO free trial.
  19. Vapes. It’s cotton candy flavored.
  20. Builds IKEA furniture.
  21. Plays solo chess.
  22. [Does this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Rh24r1pMtM)  
_Video ID: Pennywise tossing his phone onto the table, flicking the cap off a bottle of wine, and chugging it._
  23. Plays Russian Roulette, loses, gets up, and plays again.
  24. Makes a scrapbook.
  25. Knits himself a sweater.
  26. Knits Richie and Eddie matching sweaters.
  27. Borrows Mike’s library card, goes to the library, and comes back with a massive stack of books.
  28. Realizes he forgot his reading glasses, and goes to buy a pair at Target.
  29. Plays beer pong with 1990 miniseries Pennywise.
  30. Snorts cocaine off the nightstand.
  31. Writes a thousand-plus page novel.
  32. Builds an exact replica of the Derry Inn from scratch.
  33. Gets interviewed by a local news station, still in Richie and Eddie’s hotel room, about the Grand Opening of the Derry Inn 2.0.
  34. Hosts the Grand Opening of the Derry Inn 2.0. He cuts a red ribbon with oversized scissors, then uses them to stab a reporter to death.
  35. Does whippets using his red balloons.
  36. Steals Richie’s car keys and does doughnuts in the parking lot.
  37. And well, after the night he’s had, who can blame Pennywise for falling asleep?

  


* * *

  


Eddie rolls onto his back, eyes fluttering shut as he catches his breath. “Holy shit.”

“Dude, right?” Richie curls up against him, nosing at his bare shoulder. “Who knew sex could actually be, like, good?”

It’s a long time before Eddie’s aware enough to pay attention to anything other than Richie. When he is, though, his eyes land squarely on the sleeping clown in the armchair. _“AH WHAT THE FUCK!”_ he screeches, scrambling back against the headboard.

Richie, not wearing his glasses, squints vaguely in the direction Eddie’s looking. “Wha?”

Eddie gropes for Richie’s glasses in the sheets and hands them over.

_“AH”_—Richie echoes—_“WHAT THE FUCK!”_

They’re silent for a long minute, the only sounds in the room their heavy breathing and Pennywise’s soft snoring.

“What should we do?” Richie whispers.

“Kill him,” Eddie snaps.

“How the fuck do we do that, genius?”

“What, am I supposed to be the expert now? Fuck off.”

“Fuck,” Richie mutters. “Should we, uh. Should we get the others?”

Eddie nods, eyes glued to the unconscious nightmare clown. Richie wraps himself in a sheet and starts to make his way to the door when Eddie hisses—“Get dressed, you asshole!”

“Where the fuck are your priorities, man?”

“It takes two seconds!”

“You get dressed! I’m not leaving you here alone!”

Between the stage-whisper bickering and throwing clothes at each other, it’s a marvel that Richie and Eddie manage to get dressed without waking Pennywise. They rush down the hall, rapping softly on doors and explaining the situation as quietly as possible, and no one believes them until they’re all gathered around the evidence.

With all the potential improvised weapons in the room—books, IKEA furniture, knitting needles—the Losers go to town. It isn’t how they expected to kill Pennywise, that’s for sure, but no one’s complaining—especially when it means none of them have to get hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> [hit me up on tumblr](http://geislieb.tumblr.com)


End file.
